In 2004, Dr. Redler started broadcasting on the air waves through a local South Florida radio Station sharing his wholesome advice and inspiration across three counties. In addition, Dr. Redler has been a frequent guest on national and local media programs.

When Kids Act Like Criminals; Today Show MSNBC
 (Special Report, April 2008)

Hurried Women’s Syndrome; Hollywood Magazine
 (March/April 2008 Edition)

10 Things Men Do When They Cheat; CBS4 News
 (Special Report, May 2005)

10 Steps to a Better Marriage; CBS4 News
 (Special Report, July 2004)

Fighting Fair; CBS4 News
 (Special Report, May 2003)

Coping with Stress During War Time; CBS News
 (Special Report, March 2003)

Hurried Women’s Syndrome; CBS4 News
 (Special Report, Feb. 2003)

Mental Viagra; The Judy Romanoff Show
 (Feb 2003)

Meddling Mother in-Laws; CBS4 News
 (Special Report, May 2002)

Bullies; CBS4 News
 (Special Report, Aug. 2001)




Divorcing Their Kids by Dr. Fabian Redler


Just recently I was interviewed by a television news network that wanted to hear my opinion about the behavior of cheating men. The interview was initiated as a result of a newly released book that claims men have specific behaviors when they are in the midst of cheating, and the authors guarantee that if a woman knows to identify these behaviors, they’ll be able to tell if their man is on the run. So often the reasons for marital problems such as infidelity revolve around the nature of the couple’s relationship, but more often than we want to know marital problems are about distancing ourselves from the frustrations of being a parent. When I first started working with divorced families, it was common practice to help answer so many of the unanswered questions for the children involved. For instance, children would often wonder if the divorce was their fault. It is in their nature to attribute at least some thread of personal blame for their parents’ separation, and it is our job as parents to make certain that they know they are not to blame. But if truth be told, I believe that too often then not, the parent that leaves, usually dad, is out to find the perfect excuse to leave the whole family not just the spouse. The family has become the millennium’s ball and chain. Over the years as a professional and as a father, I’ve come to realize how difficult life can be with children. It amuses me when I read a book on parenting and the author offers simplistic solutions that are supposed to solve the problems with our kids. Yes, perhaps they can eliminate a specific behavior, but the frustrations of everyday life that are involved in raising kids no book can eradicate. As one of my clients mentioned to me, “Life as a parent is no longer about us and our needs.” There is no immediate remedy for the sweat and ache that comes from our devotion to raising children well. Unfortunately, countless men have the muscle, but lack the endurance to perform long range with the struggles of raising children. “I’ve fallen out of love” is the excuse I most often hear from dads contemplating a divorce. What a ‘perfect’ excuse to rationalize leaving the majority care of their children to the other parent. Wouldn’t you agree that leaving the family because he’s discontent with his life as a parent is far more shameful than saying he’s fallen out of love? I urge dads in this scenario to question there own motives further, because just as important in making the right decisions is having all the right facts.As a father and a counselor my responsibility is to remind dads of theirs. Men need to realize and live up to what they are really running away from when they choose divorce. Sometimes they truly are divorcing their kids. For those of you that are certain that a parent can’t divorce their kid, God bless you.



I Was Lost, But Now I’m Found by Dr. Fabian Redler


There are those who have a natural tact for parenting because all their lives they’ve dreamt about the day when they would be a mother. They imagined their kids hugging and kissing them, showing them affection in ways that clearly say, “Mom, you’re the best.” But then when they actually become a parent, reality hits like a brick wall. They realize that being a mom also involves being the first to get up and the last to lie down. It involves feeding and bathing them, dressing them, teaching them, and entertaining them. It involves cleaning up after them, refereeing their fights, being strong enough to punish them, experience their cries, and then deal with the guilt. The list goes on and on. Oh, I almost forgot… and then they’re expected to be a “good” wife. Does this ring a familiar bell? It should, because a significant number of mom’s are so caught up in being a mom that they loose themselves. Are you lost? Amy was a prominent business woman whose parents raved about her success because she managed to do more with her professional life in the first few years than they had achieved their entire working life. But nothing gave them more reason to shine, than when Amy gave all of this up to be a mom. Amy’s parents were thrilled, but Amy was not. Sure, there was joy involved in nurturing her newborn, but there was also an underlying need to nurture her career.  Society and family have a way of instilling in women the importance of being a mom, and thank God for that because I’m certain most men couldn’t keep up with the task. But often moms get so caught up in the value of being a mom that they put aside most of the other things that have given them value before motherhood. This is when being a mom stops being fun. Amy soon learned that her feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment could be settled by finding a balance between mother and professional.Being a mom is one of those ‘jobs’ that rarely offer immediate rewards, so mothers often complain about feeling undervalued, unappreciated, and thus lost. Mothers need to come to terms with finding the time to do things for themselves, things they enjoy, and things that once filled their spirits. You don’t have to loose yourself to be there for someone else, but it is easy to fall into that trap. The old saying, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” holds true here too, since your self-value needs to come from a variety of sources not just motherhood, because you can’t always count on it coming from there. Finding joy and balance in motherhood involves getting involved in activities that fill your spirit, rather than loosing yourself in theirs.



Trust vs. Mistrust by Dr. Fabian Redler


Be it culture or nature that makes a man a sexual, impulsive animal we may never know. One thing is certain though, he is. So how does a woman trust her man if he has a natural predisposition for failing at monogamy? Let me tell you about Philip and Susie. One night after finishing their eighth interview of the week for a nanny, they had finally found what Susie believed to be the perfect nanny. Unlike the others they had interviewed, this one was young and energetic, cute, and playful. Philip saw the same characteristics, but from a man’s perspective, being young, energetic, cute and playful were qualities that were too “perfect” to be around. He couldn’t stop thinking about how sexy the nanny had been, and the idea of having a woman like this living in their home was very uncomfortable, to say the least. He couldn’t imagine living under so much pressure of temptation day in and day out. But how can a man tell his wife, who irrationally believes that she is the only one he should be attracted to, that this nanny is too sexy for the job? Philip took the bold step and told his wife that this nanny could not be hired because he found her to be too sexy. As you can imagine his wife was furious. “How could you even think of another woman that way?” “How selfish of you to let your perverted mind interfere with finding a good nanny for our kids?” That day, was bound to be a test of their relationship’s longevity. It’s hard for couple’s to talk about personal things that they know are going to be offensive or hurtful to the other, but it’s necessary if a relationship is going to withstand the test of time. Good communication is an ingredient for a successful relationship when it includes the good and the bad. It’s common to find individuals that don’t communicate their disappointments because they don’t want to stir up trouble; they just want to keep the peace. Keep in mind though, that peace is not always a sign of a good relationship, but more often than not, it’s a sign that someone’s needs are not being addressed. Philip needs to be praised for his courage because while others may have kept their secret to avoid an argument or discouragement, Philip acknowledged his masculine nature instead of denying it, and did what was needed to oppose it. With some help, Susie soon realized that Philip’s decision to share his feelings was actually a gauge of his devotion and love for her and their family, rather than a measure of poor character. A woman can trust her man if he is able to recognize his vulnerabilities but consistently does what it takes to oppose them.

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